Imperfection | God Life Photography Retreat

It’s been a while that I’ve shared anything on the blog. Part of me is waiting until I have enough drafts written up so I can start posting consistently. But then I have to wait for the perfect words to write when I struggle to write at all. Does anyone else feel like they just can’t live up to certain expectations? Am I striving for some sort of perfection when I know I am far from perfect? It might be because it is a new year and we create crazy ideas about what we should or shouldn’t be doing instead of just sitting, quiet, and listening to what God wants use to do. Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I am GOD”. It’s in the stillness when we hear his whispers and He can speak into our imperfect beings as only God can.

It was back in April of last year when I went to Wisconsin to spent a long weekend with a cabin of other women that I felt God really speaking to me. I was excited to just get out of town, drink wine, and cozy up under a blanket while spending time with other awesome ladies! When we shared about our expectations for the retreat I said I was more there for the God and life part and not so much the photography. I loved being around like-minded creatives and I enjoyed the refreshing time to listen and share with one another.

During my individual critique I found myself hearing the same words that many have said to me on other occasions.

Your works is great.
Your branding is great.
You are doing all the right things….I don’t know what else to say…

These words always left me frustrated and without any answer as to what I should do next. Or not do. No clear direction. And feeling like my efforts were not taking me to where I thought I should be going. I was not seeing fruit in my business even though I felt like I was doing everything right. I was blaming it on my circumstances of moving so frequently and not having the stability to maintain a small business.

After getting outside for a walk I mentioned that I was tired of hearing that same answer, over and over, and I really needed to hash out my feelings. Well, you know how the story goes with a bunch of women talking about how they feel. Yes there were some hard questions and lots of tears. I think everyone (ugly) cried at least once that weekend. But it was all because we were feeling the Lord speak to us and call us out to something greater than who we are. I realized that God didn’t give me the gift of photography just to take pictures for other people but that it had offered me a network of support and friendship through these moves that we have made around the country. Maybe my business isn’t supposed to be “successful” but it has given me an outlet to meet people wherever we move. That is a gift!

I still struggle with what my definition of success is for me and my business and comparing it to how the industry defines it. I am learning to give myself grace and to just trust God with His timing and how He wants to use the gifts He has given me. Because ultimately whatever I do is only to glorify Him! If you are curious about this retreat or talking to someone more about photography, business, or life go here. I am also always willing to talk and encourage you in your journey!

So what can you expect from me in 2016? Imperfection! This blog will not be perfect, my business will not be perfect, my social media will not be perfect, I will not be the perfect friend/mother/wife. This is truth and this truth is only made perfect my the grace of God. And that is what I am leaning into for this year!

Floral: Sadies Floral // Dress: Monirose Bspoke Gowns // Cake Topper: Emily Steffen